Sooooooo my computer died awhile ago. And I finally got it back in working condition tonight.

An update on major events you may have missed:

-Billy's mom had a mastectomy and all looks well so far.
-I spent my winter vacation playing nurse taking care of her.
-I turned 24 two nights ago.
-I decided to wait until 2010 to go to school because I'll get more financial aid.

And the biggie...

I'M ENGAGED!

There will be a picture of the bling as soon as I get the energy and time to get one up. I've been busier than imaginable for the past two months and I'm kind of glad I didn't have my computer around to distract me. Things should be calming down a bit after tomorrow. Birthday party!

But for now, my 254 emails need to be sorted through...

I WANT TO PUNCH THAT STUPID LANDLORD IN HER UGLY HIPPIE FACE!!! She is so unprofessional that it blows my mind. Seriously? Seriously. I just want to be done with this crap and never talk to her again.

...breathing...

Okay, so Mom and I joined Weight Watchers today. It's going to be tricky since I have to eat what I get with the kids at work, but I'll manage. I keep thinking, "Skinny Tricia, skinny Tricia." Holy cow, I have a lot of weight to lose to get into my target range! But I can do it. Oh yes. I can. It will take awhile, but I'm persistent and never give up on anything. I'm going to do this. =)

Positive thinking much? Haha. But I need it.

I've been feeling so sad lately. Everyone around me has this huge issues going on right now and I don't. I want to go out and have fun with people, but everyone is too stressed for it. I just wish I could take it all on myself so no one else had to deal with it, but such is life. You do what you can.

Why do I have to decide right now what I want to do for the rest of my life?
Why did I have to love a career that requires me to invest so much of myself?
Why doesn't anyone realize how stressful and difficult my job is?
Why don't parents see their children as beautiful humans capable of growth and in need of guidance and support?
Why do I have to care so much?
Why can't someone else see what I'm thinking and feeling?
Why can't I just try to make a difference for those closest to me instead of to people that I don't even know?
Why does everyone frown upon me when I say I just want to raise a nontraditional family well and call that my career?
Why can't it be like the old days when that would have been what was expected of me?
Why don't I have an icon of a girl ripping the hair out of her head?

Today is Ruby's fourth birthday party. FOURTH. Where has time gone?

Billy got to meet my maternal grandma yesterday and his mom is going to meet pretty much everyone at the party today. I wish Billy could call in sick and come with us, but he works on commission and needs to actually sell some freaking appliances!

I've thought of some things to paint on the walls in my bed room and I'm excited to actually get it done. I'm going to wait awhile so I'm sure of what I want before I actually do it, though. I've just never been able to paint until I moved here and all that artsy fartsy stuff is in me.

Okay, time to finish getting ready to par-tay Sponge Bob style!

Thing are going pretty well living with Billy. He and his mom have been sort of moody toward each other, but they'll get over it. We have all these projects for the house lined up. Next on the list: new carpet for the living room and hallway. And I am beyond thankful for that. This house needs some serious updating. I'm actually too embarrassed to invite friends over because of the smell. But when the new carpet is in, it will be a million times better. It's not unbearable, just... you know they have pets even if you don't see them.

Church whatnot is still the same. I thought I was seeing some improvements in certain relationships there, but I guess not. Oh well. I can't make people change.

Jenelle (a high school freshman that I use to drive to youth group) and I have made arrangements to bake at her house every other Monday since we won't be seeing each other nearly as much now that I'm not going to youth group. And today is our first baking adventure. I'm excited because we are making delicious peanutbutter brownies and because I know she needs social time with someone. She has juvenile rheumatoid arthritis and is homeschooled because she can't always get out of bed in the mornings. And all of her friends have overbearing parents that don't let them hang out outside of school. So she's kind of screwed in the social life department. You know, I was going to get the ingredients at the store before I went over there, but I think I'll take her so she can get out of the house. Man, I wish someone would have done this with me when I had all that family drama going on in high school.

There has been a lot (and I mean a LOT) of wedding talk around me lately. It's making me antsy because I know I have to wait awhile until it happens, but hearing everyone talk about it so much makes me want it to happen sooner. We've got all of the major details planned out. Now it's just things like the decor and whatnot that we have left, but yeah... plenty of time to think about that. I really want to get my hair cut, but I figure I'll let it grow out until after the hitchin' ceremony so there are more options for it.

My vacation is half over and I'm very sad about that. I enjoy the freedom of not setting my alarm. And I get to see Billy a heck of a lot more. And I can shower whenever I want. And I can watch I Love Lucy! Alas, my bank account is only going one direction and it certainly isn't upward.

It's been awhile and I've been extremely busy. So here's a quick update...

-No one has rented my apartment yet. I feel like I've let a million people in to view it and the landlord says she's only gotten two applications and they were both incomplete. I don't know if I believe that or not.

-I painted my new room at Billy's last weekend. A dusty-ish purple color. Jason is going to help me put down a new floor soon, so yay!

-I'm going to finish moving in over the weekend. My stuff will all be kind of piled in a corner somewhere because I can't do much until the floor is down. Oh well. I'm patient.

-Today was my last day with the kids. I have to go in for all the lovely cleaning and whatnot tomorrow, but then I have four weeks off. I'm glad I get to sleep in and have a break from the kids, but I'm sad to not get any paychecks.

-One more week with the youth group. And I am definitely sad about that. I'm going to just be an emergency sub for the sound team after September. Doubling up with my work with the kids there, though.

-So freaking many changes all in one week. I feel like my entire life is changing and it mostly really is.





That's probably about it. I feel rushed in everything I do since I have multiple things scheduled for every day. I miss my friends. I miss sleep. I miss Degrassi. I miss getting to breathe.

Thank God for this vacation.

Life. Wow. There really isn't much else to say.

Home. I now have my name on a rental lease for a year. Which is scaring me a wee bit, but I'll make it. I've been making so many phone calls to get everything there situated that my phone battery frequently drains completely within a day.

Work. My new job is SO much less stressful than my last. Sure, there are still those certain children that constantly cause problems, but Head Start is ultra-structured so even those children have some sort of predictability to them. I'm adjusting to the new routine, working with older children, and the new company all at once. And it's really not that bad. Even the teachers interact differently. They are happy. It's quite amazing. And there isn't any gossip or complaining!

Car. Lord Almighty in Heaven above, work a miracle with my engine. My car doesn't just eat gas. It gives it away to the homeless and ties it with a ribbon. In less than two days, I went through more than half of a tank. How does that happen?!






I haven't had much personal time aside from driving lately. Even my breaks at work are spent making phone calls to the sanitation district or something like that. I don't quite have everything in my new place yet, but I should be done on Saturday. I've been sleeping on a lawn chair in my room since Saturday because my bed is still at Sandy's. I have less than $20 in the bank right now. The driers at the laundry mat decided to take my money and not give me heat. I have more things to do than there are hours in the day. Life is getting busier than ever, but my stress level has gone down and I'm very content right now. This is what it's going to be like for the rest of my life. If it weren't for my God, I'd be going out of my mind.

working too much makes me dumb. i have 58 hours in 6 days and any smarts i had just went out the door. i left my phone SOMEWHERE at work. yeah, not smart! i kind of need that. we don't even have a house phone and i depend on my cell to get me places since i don't have a car. other than that, i can't talk [and am just now realizing i can't type, either]. i pretty much forgot how to conjugate verbs. i'm doing dumb stuff like saying "your" instead of "you."

other than that, i picked my new line. that's disney talk for i picked my schedule until christmas since i'm fulltime. i'm going to be at catch-a-flave, the ice cream hole in the wall. kinda sucky because it's not the restaurant i'm used to and i'm sure i'll be in there alone a lot. but kinda sorta REALLY not sucky that i get weekends off! that means church and drumline can make their way back to me.

linny wants us to take sandy's kids to disneyland on wednesday. i just want to sleep and sit on my butt. i think i deserve it from all this working. =/ but i'm going to take advantage of a lot of hours while i can. i know this much overtime won't be available after labor day.

so i've totally neglected lj since i moved. we're still trying to get my computer to go online.

i got the job at disney. i'm working at three restaurants on paradise pier in california adventure [which i will now call dca because it's a ton easier to type and it's what us people on the inside call it... heh heh]. i had my second of three days of training today and i'm picking it up surprisingly quickly. the leads have been impressed with my soft serve swirling skills [i did that at my job two years ago, but they don't need to know that] and quick-learning. i work the registers and put together orders. it's actually quite fun and, so far, i like the people i work with. a bunch of jokesters. it's physically killing my feet, but i have a day off coming up, so yay. the sad thing is, i want to go to the park on my day off. how pathetic, huh? you just miss out on all the fun.

so yes, i now point with two fingers and always wear a "magical" smile. we all knew the day would come.





living in the house is pretty dang nice. we always have visitors. seriously, i don't think a day has gone by without visitors. and it's usually the same people. everyone loves my bed and i've had several threats of people stealing it. and diana's dog. i just really need the paychecks to start rolling in so i can stop worrying about how i'm going to pay for rent. woo, i should be getting one in the mail in a few days. and i am so totally not going to spend it. nope nope nope.

it's late. i ache. and i have an early shift. so have a great night and enjoy the rest of your stay!

habitual spieling. whoa.

i finished my classes today. hooray for that. and i'll be moving in about an hour.

i think the thing i'm the most excited about is getting to sleep in tomorrow morning. all i've been doing lately is class, projects, homework, interviewing, moving... pretty much everything un-fun.

i had an interview at disneyland, so that was good. it's not for-sure that i have the job yet, but why would they take me on a tour thingy on friday and THEN tell me if i have it if there is any reason why i wouldn't get it? i'm confident about it. i was the whole time. alas, it's in the crappiest department there, i had to tell them i wouldn't need days off for drumline, and i had to put sunday mornings [for church] as a "preference." but i'm going to take it and pray that i get a good scheduler... hopefully the one that goes to church with me, haha. and if the job makes me miserable, i can always look for something else while i'm working there. this was just what i had to do to make sure it would be full-time.

i've given in to the mouse. it's official.

but yay, moving!!

i'm celebrating by myself tonight. yay for the new american idol! this season was really controversial and i still think ace should have won. and then elliot. and then taylor, but whatev, i don't control it all. but i loved the show tonight because i got to see ace's pretty face again.

pardon me as i swoon. swoon!




in other news, i painted a pretty snazzy picture tonight. i'm actually content with it and can't imagine changing anything later. i have a habit of doing that because i'm never satisfied. and now i am.

school's almost over. ugh, i can't wait. alas, my lack of a for-sure job is reeeeally stressing me out. like... wow, i'm going nuts inside. i'm going secondary-job hunting this weekend instead of having fun. and unpacking, but that's fun. so yay.

i just realized that i end pretty much every paragraph with some sort of smiley face or something like that. okay, i need to stop doing that. it's annoying. sorry, kids.

i feel grown-up when i naturally wake up before 9am.

packing has started. i'm moving most of my stuff next weekend. strawberry festival!! i go just for the parade and smoothies these days.

man, i am getting old.

if i ever plan on getting any sleep, i'm going to need to learn to resist the temptation of the internet. i fail at life.

i had a new class start on thursday, so mondays are now 10 hours of classes. ugh. and this new class is four days a week in the early morning. i'm sooooo not liking that, but i need it for work.

the city bus drivers are going on strike. woo. so i have to get up even earlier to drive mom all the way to work and pick her up again. hopefully this only lasts one day. i'm lucky i even know about this.

school's almost over [yay!] which means projects projects projects. i mostly hate projects because i have to drag everything with me on the bus, to the other classes, and on the bus again.

i'm starting to realize that i'm one of the smartest in all of my classes. i think people pick this major because it's low-pressure, fun, and not exactly... academic? people still don't know how to write objectives after we've gone over it pretty much weekly. and it really boggles my mind when they write things like, "children will learn what is a volcano." what the heck?! how did these people graduate from high school? america, i swear.

speaking of america, california. this whole proposition for preschool for all just doesn't make sense to me. it's going to do a LOT more harm than good if it passes. especially to the children! people are going to be teaching that know less than i do.

in quite slightly related news, i'll have a certificate at the end of this semester. and when i get fingerprinted [$97!! wow!], i can get a permit. which costs more money. ugh. all the classes i have left are basically specialized courses. infants, special needs, that kind of stuff. which i still plan on taking. i just need to start somewhere.






i hate having to go to bed early. =( i feel like i'm wasting so much time. i used to talk to my friend jeff pretty much every night, but i haven't talked to him in at least a week. so sad. =( and we left on an awkward note, haha. i need to fix that...

thanks to angelamermaid, i've discovered that i really am a genius. despite what it might say for you [it changes, so tricky!!], i really got 157. =)

okay, so it looks like linny isn't going to be able to move in. she has too many things she'd have to pay for that we didn't think of at first. it's just too much to think about all of it in two days without forgetting something important.

however!

i did some math again. eww. but i didn't over-estimate my expenses this time and i'll totally be able to afford my own room!! FINALLY, a freaking answer!!

i lucked out that my student loans will kick in right after i can get a promotion. oh heck yes.

so... maybe i've actually found the final plan?

i still need to hear back from the director at the preschool. find out my hours and pay. plus i need to get cpr certified, first aid certified, tb tested, and fingerprinted. oh the joys of working with children.

okay, so yay. linny's going to be my roommate. yay for best friendage! we need to bring more white people to the house, haha.

it's strange having to sit with a bunch of people and talk serious things like... money. ick. but it needed to get done. i think we should do that regularily. it helps.





ugh, people were moody today. i hate that. i'm like the most unmoody person you'll ever meet. which really isn't healthy for me, but it helps those around me.



oh, and we played this video game thingy that had this little guitar thing you had to play on to to some songs and the one that everyone kept doing was a franz song, which totally made me think of nearly_freezing every single time. =) actually, quite a few of my lj friends came up in random conversations today!

"my lj friend blah blah blah."
"oh really? what's her name?"
"uh... i don't remember."
"how can you not know?!"
"it's lj! i know her username!!"

so lame. =)

i hate how i've taken pretty much a million classes, but i'd still be considered a junior at any college. UGH. two years as a music major... most of my friends are graduating next year, but will never take as many classes as i already have. and i really hate how some of my younger friends figured out how they can graduate early. HOW?!

life isn't fair. boo hoo hoo.

i still haven't heard back from the director of the school i applied at. well, she called that one time and told me she could offer me a position, but to still send another resume. and i did. and... nothing. it's making me nervous. hello, i need a job.

also, i'm beginning to realize how different i am from the people i'll be moving in with. and it's really not a good thing for me. but i'm strong and i know i won't let it all get to me. i'm just going to have to work hard at sticking to my guns.

oh, and i'm tired of being the only one to compromise here.

drumline championships were today. INCOGNITO got second place... woo woo!! that's pretty dang good, especially since you can count how many rehearsals we've had on just your fingers.

i also learned that there are suspicious politics even in drumline. the group that got first, well, they kicked our butts. except the pit. their music was hecka easy and they only had one or two really good players. somehow, their scores were always less than just 1 point lower than what they would have needed to be moved up a division, even though they were better than at least one of the groups in the division above us.

then we learned that two of their staff members are judges in this circut. hmm, suspicious much? i think so.

and despite that, our pit was only 3 points behing theirs, even with their hecka easy music and our hecka hard music.

but i haven't said the most exciting part yet...


GARDEN GROVE HIGH SCHOOL RECEIVED THE CAPTION FOR HIGH PIT!! we haven't gotten any captions since the first season the line started. despite the fact that the line as a whole placed about 15th out of 32, they got high pit! oh goodness, do you have any idea how exciting that is?!?!




in other, quite related news, the back of my shoulders were FRIED today. i put sunscreen on three times, but i guess i can't reach that far. and man, it hurts.




and in other, completed unrelated news, we get the keys to the house tomorrow morning!! i'm not going to be there, but still, my roommates get them. close enough. =) i'm debating talking to kelsey again because i realized we could fit if we got bunk beds. definitely could fit then. and yeah, i'd like cheaper rent. plus, i think she'd be fun. =)

if any of you are looking to live in a shady neighborhood where you will rarely hear your native tounge spoken, hit me up.

i still haven't told my grandparents yet. and i'm not going to until i'm 100% sure that i have a job there. it would be nice to beg them for a loan, but i also know they probably can't right now.




okay, and now i'm sore because i've been on my feet since 10am in the frickin sun. wearing black.